I love spray paint. I received a gift card to the Depot of the orange and white logo for Christmas and thought about what I could get with it. I decided on spray paint because I can always use spray paint. I love it. It makes for a quick update on items around your house. It is easy to use, dries quickly, and goes a long way to breath new life into old things. I always feel like a criminal when I buy it though. You may think to yourself, "Why would she feel like a criminal? Maybe that's guilt coming up...maybe she is a criminal!" All not true, however, the depot treating it like a controlled substance may have something to do with it.
I always feel a little conspicuous at the depot anyways. I come in with my knee-high boots, crazy patterned tights, girly dress, and a feathered headband in my hair. The male population of that store always approach with a John Wayne strut....hitching up their belts to cover more of their belly they saunter over. I can practically hear the spurs in my mind as they say, "Anything I can help you with little lady?" At first the feminist in me bristles at the "little lady", but then I realize that I am a lady compared to the normal clientele and I am quite little. Maybe they are just literalists.
I quickly say no and make a beeline to the paint department. I know my way around the paint department. Like I said before I use paint all the time. (Especially spray paint - like the dining room chair I redid by spraying straw flower yellow.) I quickly go to the spray paint part of it and start grabbing what I want/need. Now here is where I start to feel a little conspicuous. They sort of follow me over as if the thought of a woman in the depot not needing help is out of the realm of reality, or maybe they just noticed I didn't have a basket and think I may need help carrying stuff as my arms are tiny and practically useless much like a T-Rex. Whatever their reasons I can't help but feel watched, and when I feel watched in a store I feel like they think I am up to no good.
I worry that they are going to see me grabbing spray paint cans, remember that I am in the store several times getting more and more spray paint, and then somewhere out there will be a person who decides to graffiti this...
...and they will totally think it is me! So feeling watched, my arms full of spray paint cans, imagining the cat graffiti someone will finger me for I begin my way to the checkout. I prefer going to self checkout whenever I can and so I go over and begin to scan my items. As I swipe the first can the self checkout kiosk blares out, "Assistance needed. Must show ID to purchase this item." I have to then wait and try not to fidget out of impatience - fidgeting makes you look extra crime-y. Finally the Grand Poobah of the self checkout section comes over and allows me to check out the rest of my items.
I always feel as I make my way out to the car a small thrill - like I got away with something. It takes me a few seconds to remember that I am just buying spray paint to paint my old wall art a different color.
