Spray Paint - Why I love it and why I feel like a criminal when I buy it.

I love spray paint.  I received a gift card to the Depot of the orange and white logo for Christmas and thought about what I could get with it.  I decided on spray paint because I can always use spray paint.  I love it.  It makes for a quick update on items around your house. It is easy to use, dries quickly, and goes a long way to breath new life into old things.  I always feel like a criminal when I buy it though.  You may think to yourself, "Why would she feel like a criminal?  Maybe that's guilt coming up...maybe she is a criminal!"  All not true, however, the depot treating it like a controlled substance may have something to do with it.

I always feel a little conspicuous at the depot anyways.  I come in with my knee-high boots, crazy patterned tights, girly dress, and a feathered headband in my hair.  The male population of that store always approach with a John Wayne strut....hitching up their belts to cover more of their belly they saunter over.  I can practically hear the spurs in my mind as they say, "Anything I can help you with little lady?"  At first the feminist in me bristles at the "little lady", but then I realize that I am a lady compared to the normal clientele and I am quite little.  Maybe they are just literalists. 

 

I quickly say no and make a beeline to the paint department.  I know my way around the paint department.  Like I said before I use paint all the time.  (Especially spray paint - like the dining room chair I redid by spraying straw flower yellow.)  I quickly go to the spray paint part of it and start grabbing what I want/need.   Now here is where I start to feel a little conspicuous.  They sort of follow me over as if the thought of a woman in the depot not needing help is out of the realm of reality, or maybe they just noticed I didn't have a basket and think I may need help carrying stuff as my arms are tiny and practically useless much like a T-Rex.  Whatever their reasons I can't help but feel watched, and when I feel watched in a store I feel like they think I am up to no good. 

I worry that they are going to see me grabbing spray paint cans, remember that I am in the store several times getting more and more spray paint, and then somewhere out there will be a person who decides to graffiti this...



{Image Credit: morganico-com.deviantart.com}

...and they will totally think it is me!  So feeling watched, my arms full of spray paint cans, imagining the cat graffiti someone will finger me for I begin my way to the checkout.  I prefer going to self checkout whenever I can and so I go over and begin to scan my items.  As I swipe the first can the self checkout kiosk blares out, "Assistance needed.  Must show ID to purchase this item."  I have to then wait and try not to fidget out of impatience - fidgeting makes you look extra crime-y.  Finally the Grand Poobah of the self checkout section comes over and allows me to check out the rest of my items.

I always feel as I make my way out to the car a small thrill - like I got away with something.  It takes me a few seconds to remember that I am just buying spray paint to paint my old wall art a different color.